Why would you turn on a broken TV?

I existed in a place far away from my body. It had been sluiced through by rays of light hitting the blinds on my window and exploding all over me. It lay, for a brief time, in seventeen unmoving pieces smouldering in the shadows. My spirit, ever so briefly, soared far far above your heads, far above consciousness and above a viewable dimension darting from unreality to unreality until there was nowhere else to go but home.
Now I stare at my broken TV looking for messages in the scrambled nothingnesses. Electrons sputtering out in all directions like bullets from the gun of a dying soldier. Directionless, pointless, the final acts of desperation resulting in the pure randomness of misfiring electrons. The screen swells and flows, ebbs back and squeezes out, the speaker splutters and gasps its final grainy breaths. I watch intent, with no idea what to look for, with shapes forming for a second and disappearing forever. Eyes sore, testament to the omnipotence of the media. My eyes. my eyes. my eyes telling me Im still alive.



This TV is dead. But I stare slackjawed, watching it splutter, cough and smoulder its way to the end of its short life, trying to tap into any TV station, clawing at any chance of life, any chance of reconnecting with the vast consciousness that it has forever lost. Like a hit and run victim, coughing up blood, spastically swinging back and forth on the bed, permanently braindamaged, fervently trying to reconnect with life, that elusive force that it has lost forever. The savage, base reality of the violent demise of the TV reflects the reality of mortality for anything, or anyone. It knows, somewhere deep down that there can be no rebirth, there can be no new life, its useful existence on this plane is over forever. I think its intriguing because it reflects the most basic truths in all of our lives. We are only borrowing these emotions. We feed from them for a brief time and then we die. The emotions themselves live forever. We have tapped into them through this human vessel, but when that ends, the emotions do not. Just because we feel them does not mean we can ever own them.

9 comments:

{illyria} said...

aptly put. emotions are beyond us and they take on forms and figures of their own.

sebia said...

wow...man u have gt exactly my problem.....U YAP LIKE ME:)longgg posts small things 2 say...oops now no need to think abt slaughtering me....im hungry and im sleepy tht makes a deadly combo:)
though no doubt...beautiful words...so many times i experience my soul sitting outside my body and waving me hullo from there..(usually eating...junk:)
whts ur star by the way?

Anonymous said...

I like this - you're marrying your poetry and prose in a new way. You can even see a slight hint of magical realism in there in a way. Not that I would ever accuse you of being of that genre in your style.

you ever read any Will Self? you really should. i'll post you down a mini book i bought lately (penguin are making little mini books for €2 cos they're around 70 years including a great one of excerpts from Hunter S Thompson's autobiography)

sandeip said...

i will tell you one thing though.
here i disagree with you because you see the moral of the story as physical.
i suggest that you try looking at the moral as an idea;and then i think you will see that there is ALWAYS a rebirt.there is no place really exists which can be called the point of no return.

cfllardoop said...

Maybe seby (Not sebia) is right, Maybe I have to find the dick and balls in the story. So to speak.

cfllardoop said...

Oooh that sounded mean. I meant of course that sebia's rightness is not up to question, as she is always right.

sebia said...

grrrr nick tht ws sooo mean u r trying 2 bring my ardent enemy here...whom im trying 2 chill all the way 2 ALASKA:((.
now no more poetry for ur broken guitar or twisted chords....me nt gonna weave any rhyming serenity
grrrrr brrrrrrr.
(unless u dance cha cha or jive ...or sm 100 push ups ...only then the princess will think abt giving u ur respite....
till thn u r also on the chilling train......

sebia said...

Anyways i did hit the first fret...
the chord played PAIN...

--pearl-- said...

do emotions always last foreva?






lol..sebz ur sucha cutey:)