What do you REALLY want?

Just walking to work and was pondering a couple of different dream of ideas regarding the kind of writing I want to do.
I wonder about the books that speak to us the most. The books that we read and re-read and fall in love with more as we learn more. Im talking about for me, On the Road, the Great Gatsby, The Bell Jar, 1984, Brave New world, the big stuff. But everyone has different tastes. For example, ten million trillion years of solitude, I hated that book. It was so whiny, so hung up on vivid description and developing imagery and preporting to Steinbeck style writings that make me want to burn books. Nothing happens. I cried, I wailed, I moaned. I made sucking noises. I laughed, I put the book in the bathroom for TP emergencies. What I look for in books is ideas, real characters. Nervous, stuttering drunken fools who have it in their power to enlighten the world through their own stumbling path through life. Holden Caulfield for example. I can see where he's coming from. I like characters that hurt themselves. Characters that lead real lives. Characters that realise the hopelessness and helplessness that is always only two seconds away is a natural state and isnt right. Thats why I think the only way to write really personally is in first person. I hate reading the likes of "Goerge looked up and then down the street into the sun. He was musing on what to do now, ideas flicking through his misdirected mind, looking for a hit, but none was coming." I am talking about third person narrative here. It sounds like lies to me. How does the author know what this person is thinking? You need a point of reference. A book needs a voice, a single minds thoughts used as a pair of eyes to view the world through, and when writing in the third person you cant generally acheive that. It loses the message and confuses people. Too often it ends up with a book falling down because the author is trying to personalise every character, view life from everyones eyes, and gets so obsessed with how everyone acts and reacts internally, that nothing actually happens. I hate that. I need books to flow, books that you read as fast as you possibly can. Books that tell you how real people think.

I need a six pack and a day off.
I need to do something with my life. I need to work out more and stop sweating and worrying so much. I really should stop dreaming and start writing. I need to work on my CV. yeah, get it out to agencies and get a kickass job. I need to learn to drive, and if I do, I need to get a better car. I need to get out of Limerick, start going out, stop smoking, stop drinking so much, start eating healthier, Get the groceries, poop, have a fag and get some lunch before I starve. Deep breaths.