I just poured sugar on my chips. From a sugar jar, versus salt from a salt cellar. There could be no way of rationally confusing the two. This is after losing my mobile phone battery for 20 minutes before checking my mobile to see if it was there. I have also had a combined total of fuck all sleep in the last three days on top of a weekend consisting entirely of sleeping. I've been on three calls this morning where I realised about 5 minutes in that I had no idea what I was saying, and I had even less idea why the customer called in the first place. Honest to God Im not stupid, and this is not a regular thing for me. I don't quite know whats going on. I think my mind is just permanently elsewhere today. Its not letting me be easygoing, and even though I have all the will in the world, I still feel an irrational anger and fear rise from me, taking over any ambition I had to relax, to learn to take it easy, to let things be.
Believe me, I could start listing the things that are pissing me off now and not stop for about three hours, but thats true every day, not just today, so why the sugarring chips? And why the irrational mobile phone battery hunt? And why cant i do my job?
My brain is more than scattered today, It's more than random mind distortion brought about by lack of sleep and the most unsettled home and work life since Fred Flintstone got a new pet T-rex.
If you dont see me soon it'll be because my head will most likely soon explode. Literally explode. Fuelled by continuous chemical reactions from months of warring and ulcerous emotions misfiring around my head. Feelings are locking arms to battle and murder other emotions, mating and creating new nasty emotions, cheating on emotions, stealing, murdering, begging to be the evil King nasty emotion of my newly rotten and evil head. Months of pressure and anger, worry and care, worsening attitudes, jealousy, impatience, annoyance, regret, fear of the future fear of the past, wondering what might have been and hatred has finally ended its battle royale and exploded randomly as I was walking to or from someplace unimportant. just nothing and then BLAAM! Spewing out cognitive mush, deep fried brain bits, dendrite squash, and lumps of bloody skull in every direction, creating a fifteen feet arc of nick blood like a geyser losing its virginity with a satisfying Squwoosh Splatter sound that covers everyone and thing near me at the time with the last of my life juice and creating stains that will never clean or come out.
Good reason not to fall asleep on a Mobile phone mast on top of a tall building when you're incredibly totally wasted.
Woke up incredibly late. I just lay there. My mind was bruised, thoughts still soggy from last night. Last night. I closed my eyes and tried to let my thoughts marinate for a few minutes. Tried to put a clear picture of the night before in my head. I rolled over and rubbed my eyes, and decided I had to force myself up, had to go to the bathroom. I put both feet down and jumped off the bed, looking for ground. I never found it.
In the 3.8 seconds before I spread my remains over three streets, seventeen cars and an unfortunate letterbox I could only think one thing... "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh."
In the 3.8 seconds before I spread my remains over three streets, seventeen cars and an unfortunate letterbox I could only think one thing... "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
