Mp3

Hey hey again. Still getting used to flowing on this blog, you know, effective humorous bullshit in ten minutes or less? At the moment Im struggling with ideas, and I dont want to redesign, because then I'd be one of those custom blog losers, when all I want out of this blog is a random rant diary that I hope nobody ever reads. But yeah, have to have a quick mention to the main shit in my life right now, and that would have to be mp3's. Currently have upwards of 40 GB which is about a month and a week's worth of non-stop music. Not good not bad. But that collection has been modified, and has probably had about twice that amount at different times in the collection, due to constant deleting and reloading of a lot of really shit albums. Its always a matter of refining the collection, because often a random downloaded album collection is not going to make your mp3 collection any better. I'm talking about Beyonce, Christina, Bjork, and alanis. All the albums that no sane thinking non-moron would ever buy, but they're there in my collection. If I network my collection, and people look at it without knowing me, how can I explain why I have a Village People album? What do they think of me, when shuffling through Michelle Branch, Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit, and associating my good name with this flawed "music". MP3 pirating should be outlawed completely, because its making me look bad in front of people I will never meet, and giving Bjork fans the opportunity to get in touch with me as a similar enthusiast. Look, ok? I dont like bjork, I dont like make-up wearing guys, I dont like welsh people, and I definitely dont like you if you do. So if u are using my PC to download your pillow wank music, do it discretely, when I'm not doing something else more important, and definitely never ever get in touch with me about our mutual interest in Freak Icelandic Man-she's with a penchant for recording the internal sounds of horses being ass-screwed and then releasing as a 12 track concept album. Unless it's about the Doors or Led Zeppelin, keep your opinions to yourself, you fag. (Or alternatively, you could open a blog, and post a stilted one-sided scathing attack on something you actually know nothing about, though I wouldnt know anything about that.)

DownSide me!

Block your ears now.
Visualise a small part of the world, and then turn it upside down.
Lets say for example what I chose, an upside down bridge, with the river over your head, and the suspension holding you up spread out below you. This road is leading to an inverted castle,
in through the out door, down the up stairs, Step onto the bedroom cieling, And say, I am comfortable here. Say it three more times. Say it until you can see the cobwebs on the floor above your head, and see the window skewed and upside down looking out on the green earth falling from above to meet the blue sky down below, with the clouds at your feet, and birds landing just over you. Are you more comfortable here than a room full of new people? Why do you always turn your world upside down? Why not do it more?

Hey. I am getting completely, COMP-FUCKING_LETELY fed up with being so depressed for so long for what I can only really define as no reason. I have been a fully functional adult on this earth for let me see, about two years now, and I am already thrown into depression at where I see myself going, or not going in life. I have only just arrived as an adult! Up until I was at least 15, I never ever got depressed because I wasnt *winge* "Acheiving something"! Why start now, at the very start of the real race, why not go slow and steady, and take small little steps out into the world, break them down into manageabe shuffles that give me the option of looking around and maybe grabbing something I want out of live? Everyone is so gung-ho to get going, but they're not even realising that it is just history repeating itself. We always look forward to a future hoping it will be better purely because its not the present. Regardless of where we are, we're always looking to something else. And instead of someone saying, Hey, You stupid young bastard! You're a stupid young bastard, even if you fall into a good time by accident right now you wouldn't even recognise it, so calm the fuck down, leave fate alone and do your own thing for a little while, until you know who the hell you are and what you want out of life. I am fed up with "Love the questions, love the answers, love the adversity of life, love living, love learning and failing." What A load of TOTAL FUCKING ASTERISK! You probably all know what Im talking about, all those things that we have all started telling ourselves since leaving College, or since verging on leaving college, or leaving school or whatever. We feel bad, because we have no idea what to do. We suddenly realise that the college course we chose wont give us the job we want, or that it takes that much more work than you were expecting, or that you would rather work part time and have no responsibilities, or maybe all of the above, or maybe you've just suddenly realised that you're not going to be a rockstar or fashion designer, pro footballer or worlds greatest writer, actor, filmmaker or race car driver. These things take time to get over. Are we coming to terms with adulthood, or with disappointment, or with self-loathing, or with limiting our expectations. Surely we aren't happy accepting our limitations in society? So why are we getting depressed or angry and taking it out on ourselves? We either thrive under society's values or reject them. I dont want a shit job. I dont care too much about earning shit money, but I dont want to spend 40 hours a week having my soul sucked out through a straw inserted in a small metaphor in my neck. So why dont we just say no? Lets analyse it... We need to work for 40 hours at least every week, because? We need to make money money money above all else, even above happiness? Money isnt the source of happyness. Just cos thats what our parents have been telling us for 20 years doesnt mean that that is the case. We are brought up to be part of a generation and a movement that we couldnt possible care about. We should be pushing limits, Homo Ludens, further on towards the line of human self-actualisation. We were never meant for this post-Tayloristic reality! Come on! I dont care how many self help books I read, as long as I stay in this world, in Telecommunications industry world, or the IT universe, or anything to do with profiteering, there'll be a bad taste in my mouth.