Whatever the fuck you mean to say, say it.

Im also in two minds about how to proceed with this Bloggy wog thing. I mean, am I really getting anything out of it? I suppose I am feeding the desire to write that used to flow up my spine and into my brain so furiously, but I dont even know it thats worth fuelling anymore. Im sitting here, aged 21, too close to 22, tapping away but completely and totally nowhere in the wordsmith stakes. Where before I would have had vision, and statements I wanted to make as an author, commentator, hell even as a zeitgiest. But that seems to have dried up like a two month old dog shit. In fact if anything, Im more lost now than when i was 16 and used to spend hours just writing, the post-teen equivalent of playing with crayons or finger paint. So basically what this blog is doing for me is a metaphorical grip on my neck, ferociously wanking my mind. But maybe its time for another pursuit. Or another way of looking at things. I dont want to end the dream, the great goal I have always had to write, but I just dont see how any 22 year old in the world can write a single first novel worth reading. I want to change the world a little, and this is the only way how I see myself doing it, but I just cant move for frustrated ambition, and big ideas and no time, and nice style no substance, and fucking fucking fucking unfinished pieces.